Before you protest that I’m wrong and you feel the urge to scream, “I don’t CHOOSE to fail!” Give me a moment to explain.
“I really want a bad day today! I hope my boss yells at me, I get caught in a traffic jam, and my paycheck is sucked away by another surprise emergency. I REALLY hope that I’m still stuck here in 5 years too…that would be AMAZING!”
Jesting aside, we don’t really want that. But from my own personal experience in my past, I think I did. I could or would never admit to it, and consciously I didn’t. But below the surface I self-sabotaged every forward step I would make.
Does this sound like you?
“I really want to get a raise.”
….”Who am I among all these people? They’ll probably give it to someone else. I’m just not lucky.”
…”I have no self discipline and weight just keeps packing on no matter what I do. I’m just meant to be overweight for the rest of my adult life and need to accept that.”
“I wish I could find a job I love to do.”
…”I just don’t have any luck of finding a good job, other people are either more qualified than me or I find out about them too late.”
“I wish I had more than enough money at the end of the month for extras.”
…”I’ve always struggled with money. Only people who are (lucky, special, more gifted, smarter, ___) make money easier than me.”
“I want to focus on building myself up and having a little ‘me time’.”
…”If anything is going to happen, it will happen to me. I just can’t escape drama and emergencies. Maybe I deserve it for some of the decisions I’ve made in my past.”
“I would love to be successful. I want to land that dream job, nail my weight-loss goal, have a bank account that’s always in the black, and feel that freedom and self confidence.”
…”Sure it would be nice, but let’s be realistic…it will probably never happen. Besides, that doesn’t happen to people like me. I guess I’m just meant to live a life of struggle.”
This is an example of the self talk that undermines and ruins every hope, dream, and opportunity.
Even though we don’t actually ASK or WANT it, we invite back to us over and OVER again.
So how did I personally “fix it” for myself?
8 Strategies Steps:
Stop ACCEPTING this is how it has to be.
Stop BELIEVING there’s nothing you can do about it.
Stop BLAMING people and circumstances.
Start taking full RESPONSIBILITY for your own life, actions, and thoughts
Begin by picking up or listening to every single book you can on personal growth. Google search books for personal development.
Forgive yourself of your past.
Give yourself PERMISSION to move forward.
Surround yourself with others who are where you want to be.
So as you can see, I don’t truly believe that any of us WANT to fail, but our inside belief system of ourselves is harder at work than the conscious effort we put in to undo it.
I’m far from perfect, but have discovered these things that have helped me along the way in my own journey, and I hope they help you too.
If you tell yourself that you can’t, then of course you must prove yourself right.
Aren’t you ready to say you CAN and prove yourself right?
What is the first book you’ll pick up and start reading/listening to today?
Comment below, I’d love to hear what book you’re reading!